I talk to a lot of people about their experiences of becoming parents. I am always struck by the difference in the ideas people have about parenthood before they become parents versus after. Which may be obvious because, let’s be honest, on paper, parenthood doesn’t look that great. Lots of noise, lots of messes, power struggles with toddlers, years of interrupted sleep, and so much more. It is a lot. Who would ever sign up for that?
But the interesting thing is, that once you start talking with real parents about real children they are really raising, the tone changes and the lists of pros and cons mostly disappear. In fact, I would argue that if you are using a pros and cons list to determine whether or not you should have a child, you are using the wrong tool. I wrote this essay for Wayfare magazine to explore the aspects of parenthood that generally don’t make it on to the pro/con lists, to argue for the more of parenthood that is joyful, fulfilling, wondrous, abundant.
If you want to read it, you can find it here: https://www.wayfaremagazine.org/p/abundance-and-natality